Real Leadership

The past two days our church hosted the Global Leadership Summit, which is an incredible event put on by Bill Hybels and the Willow Creek Association. I highly recommended it for any for anyone who wants to get better at whatever it is they do. There were some great talks and inspiring music.

Thursday and Friday were great days to think about Leadership. I was thinking about the lessons and information and how they would apply to the roles of leadership I find myself in such as Pastor, Father, Husband, Son, Brother, and Friend. I also started thinking about Saturday...Today.

Today I am attending the funeral of a 32 year old man who battled cancer for almost 2 years, last Saturday he got to see his Creator face to face and entered into a place where cancer doesn't exist. It really is a heart-breaking story. A man way too young with 3 kids and a wife who loved him and depended upon him. Parents and sisters who never thought he would go first. Friends, Co-workers, and other Family who are asking all the usual questions of why and how did God allow this?

The story is very heart-breaking. It hits close to home. It could have been much much worse.

You see, Thaius Holmes is a REAL Leader. She didn't speak at this year's Global Leadership Summit, but she is an incredible Leader nonetheless. Thaius is the person God used to bring hope into a horrible situation. She is the person that brought a young man from her work, who was diagnosed with Cancer to her church so that someone could pray for him to be healed.

Her relationship and invitation with Jeremy and his wife Roni, changed this story in an incredible way. A few months after that first visit and time of prayer I had the incredible joy and honor to watch Thaius baptize the entire Sandall family, well except for the 3 year old. She introduced them to the only person who can give hope in times like these. She changed the story from 32 year-old loses battle with cancer, to 32 year-old meets Jesus face to face. She and God changed the story from 32 leaves behind a wife and 3 kids to fend for themselves, to 32 year-old entrusts his widow and children into the hands of God's Family and their Neighborhood Group until they all reunite in Heaven.

Thaius is a REAL Leader. The Families in Neighborhood Group with the Sandalls are REAL Leaders. I am going to be sad when I don't see Jeremy helping serve communion tomorrow at the 10:00 service, but I am grateful that because of REAL Leadership we will see each other again in God's Eternal Kingdom.

Thank you Thaius.

Wedded Blister

Today I celebrate 16 years of Wedded Bliss with my wife Kristi.
I don't know a lot about marriage or relationships in general, but I have learned this:

To get to the Bliss you have to work through the Blisters.

When you get a blister, what is your normal response?

If you keep doing the same things that gave you that blister, will it get better? Probably not. If you don't change your shoes, your wet socks, or at least apply a band-aid to the blistered region you aren't going to allow for a blister on your foot to heal.

What I see in marriage over and over again are people who claim to love each other, who are still wearing the wet socks that give them blisters. They don't change the behaviors that are damaging their spouse or their kids. Marriage is hard work, and a good marriage is really hard work.

I am so blessed to have an incredible wife. She decided long ago to never settle, to never let the things that were bothering her in our marriage to go un-addressed. She is probably the most wise person I know. I have not made many decisions these past 16 years that Kristi didn't make better. She is one of the most authentic people I know. I am incredibly grateful for Kristi as we have moved along this path of life. I am a better person today because of her. I hope she can say the same.

We would have never gotten to this Bliss without the Blisters. Thank you God for Kristi. Thank you Kristi for 16 years. Let's kick some butt these next 16.

The Story Chapter 11

David and Goliath

Pretty famous story huh?

Most of us know how it ends…Goliath dies…David is the new hero of Israel.

Why? 

Have you ever stopped to think about why a teenager put his life on the line with just a few stones for his slingshot? I often overlook the motive when I teach or think about David and Goliath.

Most preachers and teachers tell us that we can overcome the Goliaths in our life. That we have giants that stand between us and God’s intention for our life, that the obstacles are just a 5 smooth stones away from falling down lifeless in front of us. Have you ever heard that sermon before? I have…more than once. I may have even preached it once or twice.

What about this simple fact…Goliath was not a Goliath in front of David. Goliath was not an obstacle on David’s path, he was not standing between David and God’s road to blessed living. Goliath was not even a part of David’s life until David changed his to do list for the day to include Goliath. You see Goliath was optional for David. David was making a delivery for his father to his brothers, David has already been anointed the next King of Israel, and David has his duties with the flocks waiting for his return. David added Goliath to an already busy day.

Why?

Because Goliath was trash-talking about David’s God.

So let’s quit using this story as a self-help directive to slay the Giants in our life. Let’s use it as a rallying cry to do battle against those that defy “the living God”. David says in chapter 11 of the Story, “This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. This very day I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel…”

David tells us that Goliath’s crime was defying the armies of the living God. In David’s mind to defy the army of God was the same as defying God himself, the army represented God to the nations. Today that representation is made by the church. We are God’s army today.

Our culture is full of Goliaths who are mocking God and his church. I wonder what David would do in our circumstances? Next time you want to take on a Goliath make sure you are taking on more than just a personal issue or obstacle…take on those who are defying our God…so that the world may know!

Second Chances

Check out my blog about Second Chances and The Story here:

http://www.ccof.net/index.php?/thestoryblog


Thanks,

The Story Blog

Go check this page out.
http://www.ccof.net/index.php?/thestoryblog/archives/3194/

This is a blog written by a few of our staff here at CCoF as we go through The Story.

Most important Sunday of the year?

I work at a church. If you don't care about a local church then you can skip this post. If you do I think you will at least have some thoughts to consider afterwards.

Which Sunday is the most important Sunday of the year for a church?

Most of us would naturally say Easter Sunday, right?

I would agree if I'm asking the question from a Theological perspective then yes, Easter Sunday is the most important.

What if the question is asked from a Missional perspective? Which Sunday is most important in a Church's effort to do what Jesus asked us to do..."Make Disciples"?

I would venture to say that the Sunday After Easter is more important in the life of a local church than Easter is. I have to give credit where credit is due. I didn't always believe this, but after spending a few years around some fantastic church leaders especially Don Wilson (ccvonline.com), I have come to understand this principle

If you work at a church and just finished a Good Friday, Sunrise, and extra services you probably don't want to read this. Go ahead and go back to Facebook it will be OK. My timing isn't that great on this one- most of us just spent so much time and energy making Easter AWESOME we can't imagine next weekend much less a weekend with energy and excitement. Trust me I know I took a nap yesterday and another one today...Easter makes me tired.

But what about all the people who came to your church this Easter?

What if they come back?

Will they find the JV team on display?

What are you doing this week to make them want to come back?

Too often as I interact with church leaders, both paid and volunteers, who look at the week after Easter as a coast week. Let's do the minimum and hope no one notices. I completely understand that you can't run the engine of your church at 7,000 rpm week in and week out, but trust me when I say that the weeks after a huge effort like Easter are not the weeks to let the engine idle. Next year do this for me, actually for the people far from God in your community, figure out the lowest months for Church attendance in your community. Let's say it's, February, then that should be your idle month. Not April. April seems to be a universal and natural growth period for churches. The trick is to figure out ways to make April even bigger, not February, the key to church growth is maximizing the big months and making them bigger.

This week at the church I serve we are kicking off a new series called The Story. Easter was a preview for The Story. Our hope and prayer is that some of the folks who dropped in for Easter are compelled to come back this next week and experience God in a powerful way surrounded in a welcoming environment. You can get some info on The Story here:
http://thestoryflag.com/
http://www.thestory.com/home

If a middle aged father of two who hasn't been to church in 4 years came to your church Easter weekend, how will you get him to come back this week?

If you define success as making all of your church people happy on Easter then you probably won't prioritize the family that only comes 2 or 3 times a year. What if at Easter you did things in such a way you actually motivated them to check out what happens at your church the other 48 weeks a year? The way I look at is that we can't really gauge the effectiveness of our Easter efforts until next Sunday when we see who comes back.

What will you do this week to capture the momentum God granted you yesterday?

The Prodigal Son

This weekend at Christ's Church of Flagstaff I am preaching on the parable of the prodigal son found in Luke 15. My main point is that followers of Jesus have to treat prodigal sons like the Loving Father did. I heard a message by Reggie Joiner, at a conference called Orange, several ago which inspired much of the content of this sermon. I also read a book by Henri Nouwen called, The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming, which influenced many of my thoughts. You can check out the book here:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Return-Prodigal-Son-Homecoming/dp/0385473079/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1333128233&sr=8-1

I would like to unpack a question that arose in my preparation that I could not address in the time allotted for my sermon. Why did the Older Brother respond to his brother’s return in the manner in which he did? In my sermon I contrasted the attributes of the Loving Father to those of the Older Brother. Everyone in their right mind would agree that the Loving Father is the person we should all emulate in this parable, but why do we find ourselves acting like Older Brothers? Why do we find churches and other institutions full of Older Brothers?

                The attributes of the Older Brother are being preoccupied with themselves, operating from a context of shame, throwing fits, criticizing Loving Fathers, and turning off the lights on Prodigal Sons. Why do we find people who are calling themselves Christians, but don’t display the attributes we find in Christ? Why do we find ourselves, after decades of service to God, becoming judgmental and critical? Here is how Nouwen articulates the issue in his book, “Not only did the younger son, who left home to look for freedom and happiness in a distant county, get lost, but the one who stayed home also became a lost man. Exteriorly he did all the things a good son is supposed to do, but, interiorly, he wandered away from his father. He did his duty, worked hard every day, and fulfilled all his obligations but became increasingly unhappy and unfree” (pg. 69).

                It is so hard for many of us who have been living for Christ to admit that we have become a resentful Older Brother. What we have to confront inside of our selves is the reality that our obedience and duty have become a burden. In the name of Christ we no longer serve with joy but rather with resentment toward those who don’t keep the same standards we keep. We have never left home with lust for things of this world, but we have become just as lost as our Younger Brothers while we stayed home and tried to please our Loving Fathers.

                We slip into Older Brother thinking and attributes when we lose sight of the joy of serving Christ and instead focus on comparing our service to everyone else’s service. We who have become Older Brothers need to focus on Christ and not our own behavior. We think by doing the right things we will please him; we do this because it works in other areas of our lives. Older Brothers try to please their parents, their school teachers, their friends, their spouse, and their boss. We are people-pleasers who think of God as an authority figure in our life.

The reason we have to eradicate Older Brother thinking is that it will kill our hearts from the inside out. There is something in our nature as humans that seems to resent obligation and when that obligation comes in the form of religion or God we will start to resent him. Jesus talked about us when he said, “…these people honor me with their lips but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teaching are but rules taught by men. You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to the traditions of men.” Mark 7:6-7

So what can we do to start becoming more like the Loving Father and less like the Older Brother? First, read the parable of the workers in the vineyard found in Matthew 20:1-16. Take some time to really process through your emotions when you think about this parable. Are you bitter that God let’s those who live like hell on wheels and repent at the end into the same Paradise he will welcome you into? Are you resentful that you don’t have the courage to break the rules and “have a little fun”? Are you rationalizing your Older Brother attitudes as you read this parable? To move past Older Brother thinking we have to first admit that we struggle with it and ask God to forgive us. It sound trite, but until you confront the brutal facts you can’t move on to step two.

Step two: Spend time with Prodigal Sons.

Which one are you? 

That should solve the problem. I know it’s simple and sound sarcastic, it’s not. Most of the Older Brothers I know have loved ones who are Prodigal Sons. They may email them stuff from Joyce Meyers and Joel Osteen, but they don’t really spend time with them. They don’t go to the places Prodigal Sons go. If you email Jesus stuff to people you haven’t had lunch with in over a year you are most likely an Older Brother. I’m not saying God can’t use email or Facebook to bring a Prodigal Son back, but the usual pattern involves a Loving Father embracing them.

Remember step two: Spend time with Prodigal Sons.

Older Brother thinking is the biggest obstacle to my church and your church accomplishing our Christ given mandate…Make Disciples. May we all start to display the attributes of the Loving Father and repent from our tendency to become Older Brothers!

Comments? 

Proverbs 28

"He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy."

I bet you wished I picked a different verse today don't you? I wish I had too. 

I wish we could all have one or two secret sins and life go on just fine. I really do- it’s not the most spiritually mature wish, but its mine none the less. The Truth and Wisdom of this Proverb have been proven over and over again. They have been proven in my life and they have been proven in your life. In fact I could give you a few pages of other texts from God’s Word that proves this principle. 

Hidden sin kills you and me. You can't have one and go on just fine. 

It will kill you on every level. It will kill your most precious relationships. It will kill your joy. It will kill your patience. It will kill your future. It will kill your physical health. It is a silent assassin who never misses his target. 

Look at what Solomon said earlier,

"Do not be wise in your own eyes, fear the Lord and shun evil.

This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones."

Solomon knew what we know- hidden sins kill us from the inside out. 

I can hear what you're thinking, at least some of you. "But if they find out...I can't tell anyone they won't understand...I'll lose my job or maybe worse my wife...I'm the only one...I'm addicted...I can't stop I've tried...It's better if no one knows..."

Here is the worst thing you can be thinking right now..."It's not that bad..."

I have heard those same thoughts roll through my head. The truth of the matter is that you and I need to confess and renounce our sin. Life is better with confession. Life is better allowing God's grace to forgive us and his people to restore us. Confession isn't telling everyone about the things you do when no one else is looking. Confession is finding the right person or small group of people who can help you find a path out of the darkness. 

Renounce your sin. Some of the most powerful things you can say are the names of your sin. Try it- tell God you are a liar. An adulterer. Tell him you are a thief, a pervert, an alcoholic, an abuser, a gossip, or a fake. Too often we get in the pattern of asking God to forgive our actions, but the power of confession and renouncing too often lie in label that sin has put on us. You see it’s one thing to ask God to forgive a session of gossip but it’s entirely more personal to ask him to forgive you for being a gossip. We don't like labels, but we wear them still. 

I'm sorry I got angry vs. I'm an angry person who needs help and forgiveness. 

Hidden sin will kill you. Maybe the depth of your condition is hidden from you as well. I pray God will use this Proverb to prompt a couple of us to let his grace and mercy begin to heal our bodies and nourish our bones. That's why he wants to bring your sin to light- not to punish you, but to heal you. Trust me the Great Physician doesn't heal hidden wounds, even self-inflicted one. 

Proverbs 27

"He who tends a fig tree will eat its fruit, and he who looks after his master will be honored."

I often forget how much the Bible talks about our relationships with earthly masters. The generally accepted equivalent is a boss. Most everyone I know has a boss, not everyone but most everyone. We usually forget the biblical mandate to honor our bosses. We usually forget the biblical examples of people who did so.

Joseph was elevated to run Potiphar’s household, because he understood the Wisdom of this Proverb. He made Potiphar look good. He was blessed because of it, in fact when the bosses’ wife tried to change his job description he still looked after the best interest of his boss. John 12 uses similar language in the relationship between Jesus, his Father (Master), and us. We are honored when we serve our masters.

Then why do we spend so much time tearing them down?

“When I run this place I will…”

“He is out of touch we need a new leader…”

“Our pastor doesn’t, isn’t, won’t…can’t”

You get the idea. I’m just quoting myself, not you I promise, if you have ever said this it’s pure coincidence. ;).

What I realized is that when I question or undercut my leader I am only hurting myself. I am missing out on the blessing of being a good follower. I am deciding against honor. It is arrogance, pride, and or insecurity for those of us who aren’t the boss to commentate on her or him every chance we get.

I do it more than I care to admit. I need to watch very carefully how I speak about my boss, so do you. As an employee or associate we need to be the biggest advocate and cheerleader for our superior(s). As a Christian we have an even greater responsibility, when we are submissive at work we are showing the world the pattern that Christ was showing us.

Think about it this way, when you are the boss what do you want your followers saying about you in the break room, or over coffee at Starbucks. Unless you and I start talking that way about our boss why would we ever get the opportunity to sit in that seat?

The graduate course on this topic is to not just speak well of your boss but to look out for his interest- making him or her look good becomes your main priority.  

Proverbs 24

"Finish your outdoor work and get your field ready; after that build your house."

"I went past the field of the sluggard, past the vineyard of the man who lacks judgement; thorns had come up everywhere the ground was covered with weeds and the stone wall was in ruins."

Here is the thing most people didn't learn...hard work is hard work. This morning while making my lunch and getting some stuff ready for the day, I had my 12 year-old son read Proverbs 24 aloud (multi-tasking is my specialty). He gets to the end where it says,

"A little sleep a little slumber a little folding of the hands to rest-- and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man."

The first thing he says is, "aren't we allowed to sleep." My son is addicted to sleep- so a look of panic was on his face...it was pretty funny.

We went back and discussed the previous verses about outdoor work and I think he realized that sleep was allowed, but that too much of it will keep you from accomplishing anything significant.
He is learning that hard work is hard work. Someday soon he'll realize what many of us already know, easy work doesn't pay very well.

The author of this section of Proverbs is pointing out the need to work on the hard things first. To work on the field made sure the farmer and his family would have food at harvest. That is more important than a house. Not really an American concept but it's still true. Do the work that will pay future dividends before you do the things that will give you immediate comfort.

Most successful people get this principle, most average people sorta get it, and most people on welfare don't. I would vote for the candidate who would replace our welfare policies with Proverbs- but I digress.

I'm not a farmer and you probably aren't either but that doesn't mean the wisdom of Proverbs doesn't apply to us. Since college I have worked at 3 different churches so my only perspective is that of a pastor. Here is what I figured out along the way: Being a good pastor is hard work. Building a good church is hard work. Most churches aren't any good. Most pastors don't work hard. Most pastors reading this just got really mad at me.

Before you loose it let me remind everyone that busyness is not the same thing as working hard.  Most of the pastors I know are busy, but I'm not really sure they have figured out the pastoral equivalent of "outdoor work". Building a good church is hard work. Being a farmer is hard work. Being a plumber is hard work. Being an effective school teacher is hard work.

You and I get to decide how hard we work. Let's not blame anyone else, including our Elder Boards on the results.

Too simplistic? Push back.

Proverbs 21

Difference.

That's the word of the day here at Closing the Gaps. All throughout Proverbs you see differences.
The wise are different than the fool.
The rich are different than the poor.
The wicked are different than the righteous.
The list could go on and on.
Their is even a difference in becoming rich by hard work and saving and those who become rich by lying.
v. 6 vs 20

Too often we attribute the differences between people on luck, blessing, and location of birth. "If only I had been born in that family..." type of thinking. I admit there is a huge amount of validity to the differences in people based on those types of variables. Read Outliers to get a great treatment of the topic. The fact I was born in this country in this time period verses being born in Africa or India at the same time makes for an incredible amount of difference.

What I am learning from Proverbs is, that all others factors being equal, my heart and my actions play the most crucial role in my success or failure as a person. Solomon is constantly showing us that the biggest difference is how you behave and what motivates your heart.

Do you wish for more difference in your life? Do you feel a desire to close the gap between who you are and who God made you to be?

I know I do.

We have to quit looking around at the circumstances we find ourselves in and start putting one foot in front of the other toward the place God would have us be. Feel a financial pinch...v 17 is for you. Your marriage is less than ideal...v 19 may speak to that. Are you greedy...v 13.

Here's the bottom line, we have to be the kind of people who quit saying things like, "if I had only married someone else then I wouldn't be in living with all this pain." "If only I had more money I could help the poor more." "If I had gotten an inheritance from a rich relative I wouldn't be in debt right now." God's Word does not support your thinking. God's Word says something completely different. I love the challenge Proverbs lays  out in each verse!

Let's be the kind of people who love God and pursue a life of difference to his glory and honor!

Proverbs 20

God will be watching the purging will you?

"Blows and wounds cleanse away evil, 

and beatings purge the inmost being."

Ok- that verse is just plain awesome! I believe it proves God is an MMA fan.

Here is the verse I want to discuss today though:

"Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right."

Ever had this conversation with a child?

"Son do you love your sisters?"
"Of course I do."
"Then why do you keep hurting them? Stop hitting your sisters!"
"I'm sorry, I don't mean to hurt them sometimes I just want to wrestle and they get hurt so easily."

It seems now that my son is in full blown stage 3 puberty he has no idea how strong he is and how much he hurts his sisters. I know he isn't trying to hurt them too bad, his intentions don't really line up with the results of his actions.

Is that statement ever true of you and me? Our intentions don't really line up with the results of our actions?
As I often explain to my son, if you keep hurting someone no one will believe you love them, even if you say it over and over again. I try to help him understand that his need for physical action and attention can no longer involve the small whimpy person he has as a sister (now one sister can handle it all and even more, but the other one can't). His intention is to wrestle and have fun but the results are crying, bruises, and frustration.

I find the same problem in my life. I intend to go start a conversation with my neighbors but I end up watching ESPN. I intend to rub my wife's feet but I end up talking her into meeting my needs. I intend to have a meeting with a staff member that only focuses on positive things, but I still point out 2 areas of "improvement". I intend to read my Bible but I end up reading a blog instead (ironic I know).

I often hope that the people around me judge me by my intentions, but Solomon reminds us this morning that our actions are the final judge and jury.

What action do you need to stop intending to do and start acting upon? Maybe its an action you and I need to stop...it could be as simple as reading God's Word before you read Facebook. Today is a day of action- pure and right action!

Proverbs 19

"A foolish son is his father's ruin"

"A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping"

If you are any thing like me you read a verse like this one and you start thinking about how your son and wife need to change. I go down a line of thought that is something like, "you better stop being foolish, the Bible says so" or "woman if you argue with me one more time..."

Sometimes I wonder what the inner dialogue of foolish sons and quarrelsome wives sound like when they read these verses?

Too often it is easier to read any sort of information and project it onto the people we know who need to change. You and I both know lots of people who fit into one of the two categories listed in this verse don't we? The constant challenge is to let God's Wisdom speak to me and not spend my time and energy worrying about how other people need to change.

I have to continually take stock and ask if I've been foolish or quarrelsome. I don't want to be either but I often find myself living under those very descriptions. Sometimes just stopping to realize that's how I'm behaving is enough to get me to change course. How about you? What helps you avoid foolish or quarrelsome behavior?

The one thing I always try to practice is waiting to act or even react. I save myself so much pain and heartache when I don't react immediately to negative people or circumstances. One practice that helps me tremendously in this area is writing emails to people and then deleting them before I send them. Its very therapeutic for me- try it sometime. If someone is making you angry or disappointing you tell them all about it and then burn the paper or delete the email. Sending it won't really help the situation anyway.

If you and I aren't proactive and intentional in this life we will continue to be called foolish and quarrelsome. I'd rather be known as patient and wise...but I know those labels aren't given out for free they are the result of a life lived intentionally for God the Father. Thankfully his Son Jesus closed the gaps between my foolishness and God's Wisdom.

Proverbs 18

"The wealth of the rich is their fortified city they imagine it an unscalable wall."

"The name of the Lord is a strong tower the righteous run to it and are safe."

We all choose to put our security in something. I reversed the order of these two verses on purpose. Because If I read about the Lord being a strong tower and THEN read about money being my security I always judge myself as trusting in God more than money.

The problem is that I often really look at money as something that provides for me instead of looking at money as a resource to be managed. (Stewardship) It seems the more money I have the more power it has over me. I start to look at it differently, I find myself trusting in it. The passage clearly shows us the only place to put our faith.
So why do we often turn our gaze to money and look to it to fill so many emotional needs? Why is money often  the filler of the holes in our hearts?

The Name of the Lord...amen! Let that be enough for us today!

"The tongue has the power of life and death..."

Remember the last time someone said something to you that just "killed" your soul? This verse is true, we know because we have also been around someone who brought so much life and energy to our souls by just a single word or phrase.

Use your tongue to spread life today and not death. Let's quit being the verbal Grim Reaper of our dorm or office.

"A man of many companions may come to ruin but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

I hope you have someone you consider closer than a brother. It usually takes some sort of effort and time to accomplish such a relationship. Most people tell me their wife is that person, the problem is their wife doesn't really know if she is or isn't. Speaking from the male perspective (its the only one I have currently), I believe that men need a great relationship with their spouse. They need a lover, a partner for life's ups and downs, they need a cheerleader, they need honest feedback, they need help in areas of their weakness, and permission to soar in their areas of strength....man we are pretty needy.

But us men types also need a friend who isn't our wife. It may be your literal brother it may not be. I have that in my life and I am so grateful. I'm probably not the easiest guy to be friends with but I have found a very small number of men who will stick closer, they are one's I can depend upon. I don't talk to them all that often but we don't really need to talk to be men. I trust them and I can depend upon them and I hope they know they can trust me and depend upon me. 

Proverbs 17

I thought I was going to make it through this whole chapter of Proverbs without anything slapping me in the face. Boy was I wrong.

"Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent and discerning if he holds his tongue"

I am writing this from a gathering of Executive Pastors. I have had this role for 12.4 months. I am going to be surrounded today by people who know so much more than I do. I already a few who have been Executive Pastors as long as I've been out of college. I should probably sit quietly, listen, and learn.

But I love to be the center of attention. I guess according to Proverbs 17:28 that would make me a fool today. Many of us struggle with the idea of silence. We have all met a handle full of people who are quiet and listen- and we universally love those people. We respect the man or woman who can implement this passage of scripture into their lives. Especially the women! Haha just a joke.

If we respect those who are silent and hold their tongue, then why don't we do that as well? I want to be wise today- so I will try to talk less and listen more so that maybe even this fool will be thought wise.

Proverbs 16

"All a man's ways seem innocent to him but motives are weighed by the Lord."

"There is a way that seems right to a man but in the end it leads to death."

Here is it in black in white, right in God's Word, its a hard truth to swallow, but we can't deny it can we?

You and I are really good at fooling ourselves.

I know for me, and I'm probably the only one, but I am pretty good at thinking through ways to get what I want. The term for what Solomon is writing about is Rationalization. You know what that is right? I do. We all do it. We all hold beliefs that run contrary to what is True. Here's an example- I was leading a Neighborhood group at a previous church that will stay unnamed. Our Pastor preached on worry, he claimed that the Bible said NOT to worry. I listened to his message and decided he had probably interpreted the Scriptures accurately. That week at our neighborhood group we started to discuss his sermon. At one point a woman and a man (not married to each other) began to argue the benefits of worry. I kid you not. I remember thinking these might be the two dumbest people I know, but they aren't they are really smart, successful, and they love Jesus.

You see it doesn't make you or me evil to rationalize our struggles and behavior, its part of being human. I decided to not worry to much about their rationalization of worry since I was in the middle of rationalizing other equally negative patterns in my life (gluttony).

Here is the solution to rationalization. Find an honest person. Give them permission to tell you the truth. When they have the guts to tell you the truth don't get mad. Go evaluate their feedback and implement change based on the truth rather than your "feelings".

Can someone tell him the truth about his hair?

Most of us have a hard time telling people the truth. We are way too nice. Don't believe me- go watch American Idol re-runs with Simon, why do so many bad singers think they are good singers? Because their parents, grandparents, and church people lied to them. Please don't let Simon be the first person to tell your kids the truth.


We all rationalize and avoid the truth.





The wisdom of this passage is this: we all have behaviors that we need to change and they are based upon beliefs that come out of out rationalizations which are created to make sure we don't "feel" bad about ourselves. God is the purveyor of Truth. We must let him judge our hearts, our motives. The ways that often seem right to us lead to death. Still don't believe me? Read Proverbs 16:25.

Proverbs 14

"A heart at peace gives life to the body but envy rots the bones."

I always strikes me that God's word and the wisdom found in it are usually proved accurate by science. We all know that stress cause health issues and can ruin a perfectly good life. God knew it too-- a long time ago. I often discount how much better life God's way is in comparison to what we usually try to live. Here is the Reed translation of Proverbs 13:30 is, "you will be healthier if you choose to live without envy". 

Maybe its not that simple, but maybe it is. I'm not blaming the flu or cancer on stress and envy. But how much damage do we do living the life of the "fool"? You and I need to start taking the Wisdom found in this book and put it into our lives. Everything will be better, maybe even our blood pressure! 

Proverbs 13

OK so here is how it went down. Last night our youngest daughter did something she had been told not to do-- play with medicine. She decided to give a toy alligator a bath with soap and liquid Benadryl. The soap got into the brand new bottle of Benadryl which prompted her to tell us of her mistake. For whatever reason she likes to take stuff in the bathrooms cabinets and mix them together. A couple weeks ago it was Vick's vapor rub and some rosemary essential oil stuff. As a result of her decision to mix things together in the bathroom she received three spankings. You would have thought I was ripping her toe-nails out one by one. I'm sure the neighbors wondered if they should call Child Protective Services or not. Yep we spank our kids sometimes. 

I put her to bed early and went up to lay down by her and remind her that I loved her. After I told her I loved her she looked at me with all seriousness and said, are you ready for this...."how can that be, after you spank me harder than any child has ever been spanked? How can that be?" 

She was convinced no one in the history of earth had received what she just received. I actually had to hold her up to a mirror and prove that her butt was not bleeding (she was convinced it was). She sat up for drink of water in bed and said the pain was too much to sit up....I do hope she realizes that she can't keep playing with things that may cause her harm. The entire point of the discipline and ensuring drama was to make sure she never plays with medicine again. I can't take a chance that she'll drink a bottle out of the cabinet, or mix cleaning products. I love her too much to take that chance. 

Then this morning I woke up and read this: "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him." Now I know that many people have and will use this verse to justify actions that are extreme and abusive. Please look past their mistakes to understand the principle intended. Our children need discipline. Positive discipline in the form of rules, boundaries, and safety nets. But they also need negative discipline like time-out, loss of privileges and sometimes spankings. 

You and I need the same thing. God loves us too much to allow us to keep doing something that will lead to our own destruction. He disciplines us as a loving father who knows what we do not know. He knows the things we are mixing together may prove fatal one day. He disciplines us and we say, "How can you call yourself loving?" I often look at God's discipline as a 6 year old looks at spanking. I will never expect her to thank me for a spanking, but I hope she looks back at her childhood and sees a father who loved her and guided her toward a life with discipline that allowed her to become all that God has created her to become. I know when I look at my heavenly Father that's what I see and if she sees a little bit of Him in me then I've succeeded. 

How does your discipline portray God to your children? 

What would you think of God if he disciplined you like you discipline? 

Has God's discipline kept you from disaster? 

Proverbs 12

"A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult. "

Ouch.

This one hits close to home. I have this bad habit of making this face that says, "hey I think what you are saying is really stupid." If we are having a conversation and I don't understand, like, or agree with what you are saying I will tend to make the face. I know I make it because my dad told me I did and then a few days later I saw my son make the same face to me. OUCH.

I have to stop showing my annoyance. Proverbs calls me foolish, but I desire to be wise.

Patience.

So much of Solomon's Wisdom is locked up in the practice of Patience. For me and many others Patience is a practice that I have to keep practicing. It does not come naturally to us. We have to work at, but like all things that are difficult the reward is worth the effort.

We all have areas in which we need to have more Patience. We also have areas that require less Patience (injustice and evil). But Patience is so hard if we lack self awareness and discipline. You may have to find someone who is willing and capable of pointing out areas of your Impatience. Most of your friends and loved ones are trying to be nice so they don't tell us the truth, they tell us what we want to hear. Find an honest person, you'll be glad you did.

What are situations that require you to practice Patience?

Any ideas how to improve in this area?

Proverbs 11

Proverbs 11 is one of those speed chapters. You know what I mean right? I typically read it as fast as I can. In the past I would have told you the basic message is it is better to be good than it is to be bad.

That's not a bad summary, but not quite the thing I apply throughout my day. I think if  you and I speed through Proverbs like its a list of camping locations in Numbers 33 then we will miss what it has to offer each of us.

Here a couple of lines from Proverbs 11 that are resonating with me. Not the only ones but the ones I'll discuss here.

When the righteous prosper the city rejoices...Through the blessing of the upright a city is exalted...A generous man will prosper he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed...A kindhearted woman gains respect...

When you and I are righteous...truly righteous...our neighborhood is a better place to live.

When we live the way God intended for us to live the people around us are blessed. They city rejoices and is blessed through the blessings and prosperity of the righteous. I didn't say Christians, because Christians aren't typically respected or celebrated in our communities today. (Christian has become a label we put on ourselves regardless of our morals and behavior. Righteous is a universally accepted standard of morals and behaviors, that in fact are displayed by some folks who also call themselves Christians.) Now some of you will read that statement and start booing the world and culture we live in. I read it and start booing the Christians.

Imagine this situation: Your church receives a donation of $10 million. OK if you are a pastor you need to take a deep breath. Your church just received $10 million. The local paper, the TV channels all show up and ask questions and report the incredible news. How will the average single mom in your community react?

How will people who don't come to your church react?

Would they celebrate the blessings your church received or would your community greet the news with skepticism? Proverbs says, "when the righteous prosper the city rejoices". If our cities and friends wouldn't celebrate a great blessing in our life then we aren't righteous, truly righteous. If the believers in Jesus Christ would make their neighborhoods and communities better places to live then the world would respect our women and celebrate our prosperity and blessings. The solution lies with us.

What can we do to make our communities a better place to live? What are we actually doing? Let's take the Wisdom of Proverbs 11 and start to engage our neighbors in ways that bless them.

Photo by Justin Capp

Proverbs 8- Wisdom

What an original thought!

Try this- go to Google and type in Wisdom and then change your search to "images".

Why is Clint Eastwood listed on the first page?

Why is most of what you find on the internet about wisdom from Eastern Religions?

Proverbs 8 is all about the pursuit and benefit of Wisdom. I love the end of the chapter where Wisdom says, "blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway. For whoever finds me finds life and receives  favor from the Lord. But whoever fails to find me harms himself."

Wisdom is one of those things you can get the hard way or the easy way. I tend to lean toward the hard way, but more and more lately I've been trying to hang out at Wisdom's house more and more.

I love the word picture of Wisdom having a door at which we can hang out and wait for her. The biggest obstacle to my pursuit of Wisdom is hurry. I often find I'm too busy or making decisions too last minute to be able to spend any time at Wisdom's house.

What is your greatest obstacle to attaining Wisdom?

Also, what has Wisdom taught you lately? We could all benefit from hearing from each other on this topic.