Proverbs 5

Adultery

Well that is not a pretty word. The NIV actually titles this chapter of Proverbs, "Warning Against Adultery".

Verse 3: "for the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil"


Here is what Solomon says, and has been obsesrved over and over again. Women can be tricky. They are nicer, prettier, and more interesting before you start sleeping with them. But guys, the reality is you are the same way. All of us put more work into something we don't have yet, than the things we are taking for granted. So many affairs and immoral activities begin with a spouse thinking..."my spouse sure used to be more interesting, responsive to my advances, willing to have fun in bed, take me to dinner and movies, pour me the glass of wine, listen to me talk for hours, play soft music instead of Halo"....the list goes on and on.

Affairs need two basic ingredients (in my opinion) 1. unfulfilled expectations. 2. Drifting thoughts.

1. Unfulfilled expectations- Life happens and our relationships change. If you want your spouse to act like she's 25 again, then you should probably start treating her like she's 25, you know back when you came home from work on time and did stuff with her. When your weekends weren't on the golf course, but were at home. When she asked you to rub her feet and you thought it was cute. We all start out so focused and able to serve one another. But why does it change? I have no idea other than my life is different now than it was back in the "good ole days" and I suspect yours is too.
I'm not saying you have to settle and remove all expectation from your marriage relationships. What happens all-too-often is that you and I are looking to our spouse to fill a void they can't fill. Then we give ourselves permission (usually over a long period of time) to look to others to fill the voids that exist. At the end of the day if we quit worrying about what our spouse isn't doing for us, and looked to meet their needs then we wouldn't be susceptible to the honey dripping lips of an adulteress.

2. Drifting thoughts are pretty self-explanatory. You think about someone that isn't your spouse, or situations that don't invovle him/her. When you find yourself asking questions like, "I wonder what that would be like?" of "I wonder if anyone would find out?" of "I wonder if anyone will wake up tonight while I look at this?" ....well then you have officially entered the world of Drifting Thoughts. Your mind is like a boat and your boat needs an anchor or it will drift upon the ocean of images and temptations our culture has today. Just a few days ago my son said to me, "dad all the kids at school are talking about girls and sex and stuff...it makes it hard not to think about it." Well ain't that the truth son! Guard your heart. Be careful little eyes what you see. Drifting thoughts seem harmless, but that's just a lie people with drifting thoughts tell themselves.

So what's the solution, how do we avoid the adulteress? Read Proverbs 5 a couple of times today. Solomon said,
"May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer--may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be
captivated by her love."

Focus on your spouse. Do something for them you haven't done in years. Go on a date without your smart phone. Take captive every drifting thought. Memorize scriptures like the one above.
What are some scripture you've committed to memory to help you in this area of life? What are some other ways to avoid the adulteress?

Update from Flagstaff

As many of you know, the Reeds are moving to Flagstaff, AZ. For those unfamiliar with the lay of the land out west, Flag is about 120 miles north of Phoenix and sits at the base of some mountains at about 7000 ft. elevation. Northern Arizona Univ. is in Flag, and has about 18,000 students, with the total population around 65,000 or so.

I am on staff at Christ's Church of Flagstaff, which was planted 26 years ago by Jim Dorman, who had been on staff at CCV. Jim is still here and is the Senior Pastor. I'm taking over the role of Executive Pastor from the current XP, who is retiring. My first day on staff was September 16, and I've been getting to know my new co-workers, the church, and where a few key places are in Flagstaff (thank Jesus Wal-Mart and Buffalo Wild Wings are in the same complex).

I'm staying in Flagstaff most of the week with an incredible gentleman from the CC0F- Jay Garrison. He and his family are examples of a Godly family and christian hospitality. Kristi and the kids are back in Phoenix, working, going to school, cheer leading, and playing flag football. I usually go home Sunday after church and return Tuesday morning.

Now you're all updated.

So why Flagstaff? Why leave a church of 17,000 weekly attendance for one of 850? Why leave Phoenix for a small town? Why sell your house when its value is a fraction of its cost? Why be separated from your family? If you aren't asking those questions, then you can go back to Facebook and your Farmville. Someone asked me again yesterday, so I thought maybe I'd give it a shot. And if you are asking those questions don't beat yourself up, I ask them myself at some point each day. But then I remember this:

There are thousands of lost people in every city- they are all in desperate need of Jesus, not just for eternity but for today and tomorrow. At the absolute core of my being, I believe that Jesus makes your life better, and I am called to further his cause. I believe he wants to re-energize a Church which has an incredible history and credibility to turn a city "right-side-up".

Matthew 9: 37-38 says the harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few, well the way I look at it, there are even fewer workers who are going to come to one of the most liberal anti-christian cities in the country, so why not the Reeds? We humbly accept the call, and are excited about all the others in this church and community who are already fighting the good fight, whom we get to work and live alongside.

Are we taking a risk? Are we stepping out in faith? Not compared to my friends who live in places I can't even mention because their lives are in danger for the sake of Christ. My heroes are the ones that risk it all. We have risked a bit that's for sure. My prayer is that God would grant us the courage to risk more and more each day and that he would change the hearts of Flagstaff so everyone would know the Creator of the incredible landscape that surrounds them.

How can you risk a little more for Christ today?
How is he calling you to move out of the comfort zone?