The purpose of my marriage is not to make me happy.
I believe that by following God's description of love you will have the most reliable way to build a dynamic marriage. I Corinthians 13 is the most exhaustive description of Love in the Bible, so it's a good place to start.
I Corinthians 13:5 says, that love is not self-seeking. If love is not self-seeking then what is it? It is looking to another person as someone you have the opportunity to serve rather than someone who serves you. Too often we look at marriage as something that is supposed to bring me continual joy and happiness. Don't believe me? How often have you heard someone on the brink of divorce say, "I'm just not in love anymore" or "I don't feel anything for my spouse?"
I’m not trying to say you won’t find happiness or joy in your marriage; it should provide companionship, pleasure, and other positive emotions and experiences.
We just have to remember that those things are side effects of a marriage that honors God, not the point of a marriage. Did you pick up on that one? Joy, happiness, companionship, intimacy, and pleasure are the side effects of a marriage that is self-less. If you find yourself in any significant relationship that is not meeting your needs, then you need to evaluate the purpose of that relationship.
If we realize that our marriage is about brining God glory and not bringing ourselves bliss, then we have taken the first step toward a dynamic marriage.
I believe that by following God's description of love you will have the most reliable way to build a dynamic marriage. I Corinthians 13 is the most exhaustive description of Love in the Bible, so it's a good place to start.
I Corinthians 13:5 says, that love is not self-seeking. If love is not self-seeking then what is it? It is looking to another person as someone you have the opportunity to serve rather than someone who serves you. Too often we look at marriage as something that is supposed to bring me continual joy and happiness. Don't believe me? How often have you heard someone on the brink of divorce say, "I'm just not in love anymore" or "I don't feel anything for my spouse?"
I’m not trying to say you won’t find happiness or joy in your marriage; it should provide companionship, pleasure, and other positive emotions and experiences.
We just have to remember that those things are side effects of a marriage that honors God, not the point of a marriage. Did you pick up on that one? Joy, happiness, companionship, intimacy, and pleasure are the side effects of a marriage that is self-less. If you find yourself in any significant relationship that is not meeting your needs, then you need to evaluate the purpose of that relationship.
If we realize that our marriage is about brining God glory and not bringing ourselves bliss, then we have taken the first step toward a dynamic marriage.
1 comment:
Two things come to mind after reading your blog. I spent many years of my marriage feeling that "when he does _____, I will do_____ for him." That did not work so well for me. Our relationship seemed to be in a constant state of angst! I read the verse that says "Whatever you do work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord not man... It is the Lord Christ you are serving." This verse truly changed my life. Once I began to give to my husband as I would if the Lord were the one I was giving to, our relationship changed. We both gave unselfishly and received abundantly more than either of us imagined! The second thing is not nearly so scriptural...Love is a choice, not a feeling. Every day, whether we feel like it or not, we choose to love eachother! Not always easy but so worth it!
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