Proverbs 5

Adultery

Well that is not a pretty word. The NIV actually titles this chapter of Proverbs, "Warning Against Adultery".

Verse 3: "for the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil"


Here is what Solomon says, and has been obsesrved over and over again. Women can be tricky. They are nicer, prettier, and more interesting before you start sleeping with them. But guys, the reality is you are the same way. All of us put more work into something we don't have yet, than the things we are taking for granted. So many affairs and immoral activities begin with a spouse thinking..."my spouse sure used to be more interesting, responsive to my advances, willing to have fun in bed, take me to dinner and movies, pour me the glass of wine, listen to me talk for hours, play soft music instead of Halo"....the list goes on and on.

Affairs need two basic ingredients (in my opinion) 1. unfulfilled expectations. 2. Drifting thoughts.

1. Unfulfilled expectations- Life happens and our relationships change. If you want your spouse to act like she's 25 again, then you should probably start treating her like she's 25, you know back when you came home from work on time and did stuff with her. When your weekends weren't on the golf course, but were at home. When she asked you to rub her feet and you thought it was cute. We all start out so focused and able to serve one another. But why does it change? I have no idea other than my life is different now than it was back in the "good ole days" and I suspect yours is too.
I'm not saying you have to settle and remove all expectation from your marriage relationships. What happens all-too-often is that you and I are looking to our spouse to fill a void they can't fill. Then we give ourselves permission (usually over a long period of time) to look to others to fill the voids that exist. At the end of the day if we quit worrying about what our spouse isn't doing for us, and looked to meet their needs then we wouldn't be susceptible to the honey dripping lips of an adulteress.

2. Drifting thoughts are pretty self-explanatory. You think about someone that isn't your spouse, or situations that don't invovle him/her. When you find yourself asking questions like, "I wonder what that would be like?" of "I wonder if anyone would find out?" of "I wonder if anyone will wake up tonight while I look at this?" ....well then you have officially entered the world of Drifting Thoughts. Your mind is like a boat and your boat needs an anchor or it will drift upon the ocean of images and temptations our culture has today. Just a few days ago my son said to me, "dad all the kids at school are talking about girls and sex and stuff...it makes it hard not to think about it." Well ain't that the truth son! Guard your heart. Be careful little eyes what you see. Drifting thoughts seem harmless, but that's just a lie people with drifting thoughts tell themselves.

So what's the solution, how do we avoid the adulteress? Read Proverbs 5 a couple of times today. Solomon said,
"May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer--may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be
captivated by her love."

Focus on your spouse. Do something for them you haven't done in years. Go on a date without your smart phone. Take captive every drifting thought. Memorize scriptures like the one above.
What are some scripture you've committed to memory to help you in this area of life? What are some other ways to avoid the adulteress?